Recently this year, I was trying to overcome a burnout episode in my life. When I am not able to progress and when too many things were happening at one time, I am unable to captivate my creative being. I am not able to make art like I used to because there is no time or I didn't get a chance to organize myself.The balance was kapoot! And when this all seemed like crashing one by one, over and over, that is when it hit me - that this needs to stop.
"I cannot do this to myself"
I dare to say in this honest writing of mine, I have neglected my inner being since Covid-19 happened. The adjustments with the new norm and fastforwarding to now, I believe I am having difficulties in being the "real" me. The "real" me who i miss so much. Sigh!
So, the road to recovery was very simple but almost impossible to just "make it happen!" - Just take a break and put a stop to all negativity that was trying to build up in myself.
And this is how i did it, slowly but surely, the 7 steps in healing myself:
no.1 I learned to embrace " let go and live"no.2 Do what makes you happy- and only you know this, not your friend, not your sister, not even a strangerno.3 Be in company of people who will build up your confidenceno.4 Start a new hobby or a sportno.5 Stop crying and stop procrastinatingno.6 Eat good food. Stop sugary food and be mindful of your healthno.7 Make art, even if you do not have the mood for it
When we try to listen to our soul, the whole universe just seem quiet and that's when i learned to embrace. To listen to that drowning voice inside me. And that drowning voice, a language only you can hear, is in need of fresh air.
For me, making art is something that has been inside of me since i was a little girl. So when I am not able to make art, I feel trapped. Art is a tool of expression for me. "Expressing your feelings" is a common characteristic if you are an artist. But once, art becomes a burden, the focus of being "sincere" in your notions and motions, is blackened by your heart. And that is why, we turn to others for help and advice, people who understand us and can bring us to clarify our thoughts. A sport or a new hobby would be great to redirect your perception in life and re-energize your health. Taking good care of our health really helps push away negative thoughts. And yes, eating good food, cooking in a healthy way, being mindful of what we put in our body reflects our inner being. Natural food is always a powerful healing neccesity in our life.
I turn to nature
The best thing about being an artisan in the " Kampung" is we are surrounded by so many trees. When you can't name all the trees in your compound, you are definitely "lost"in nature Nature has helped me make art. 100% naturally inspired by nature, that is what Nysakapas really is. I reflect alot in each motif i have designed for Nysakapas. I really do get inspired by my close surrounding because that feeds my soul. It gives me the power to re-create, to develop and make it into a batik cloth. So, when I am having an arrtist-block, where your mind goes blank on white paper you've been staring for an hour- yes! I turn to nature. Walking in a garden, strolling with your little kids by the seashore, holding fruits and enjoying every peel, this is inspiration, a way of creating "good moments" with your soul.
This post is something I am sharing with you, because if there is anyone out there trying really hard to keep it altogether, I really hope you can benefit from my honest sharing today. I am an imperfect human and I am okay with that. I hope that you know that too. We were born without clothes, we were born with purity and goodness.So, let's give better value to ourselves and become happy with what we have become in our journey.
leave you with a scribble i got from an old magazine of mine;
"One's destination is never a place,
but a new way of seeing things..."
Lots of love,